2000-08-04 - 02:25:35

im starting to adjust to life here again,...slowly but surely. as steve at my work put it "the longer youre together the harder it is to say goodbye" everyone at my work keeps asking when im leaving, i think they are going to miss me, im not being high on myself but these guys are like family. ill miss them all most definitely.

i saw some friends this week and ill being seeing more this weekend and next week. the key is to keep myself busy and that will take my mind off the sadness that lurks in the back of my mind. it sux quite frankly but with time it will diminish.

tonite while driving home from matt's house i heard this song that reminded me of selen. she's been in france and turkey allllllll summer. im sooooooo sad about it. i didnt realize how sad i was, she's in turkey now and she can only email like once a week at the most and that is no fun. i had tears in my eyes and sobbed a bit when i heard the song. i wish she would go to ohio with me. we were going to transfer to the university of tampa in FL originally but at the last min. her mom said no cos she thought all we would do is swim and go to the beach instead of study. i think if her mom hadn't have said no to her going we would be there in school. it's so strange to think...who would i be today? who would i know that i dont know now? and who wouldnt i know that i do know now? (yes, that is a tongue-twister!) im tired........good nite......xxx