Monday, Dec. 09, 2002 - 4:57 p.m.

When people say that time flies when you're having fun...it really does. These past four and a half years have literally had it's high high highhhhhhhh points and the lowest of the lows as well. Each year was like a different stage for me, a sort of...evolution if you will. I can remember being a senior in highschool having NO idea how I would deal with the work college gives you. My mom and sister still joke to me this day about how I used to say "I DON'T CARE I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE PAPERS THEY CAN'T MAKE ME!" haha I laugh thinking about that. I guess I should start from the beginning:

Year 1 Sept 1998-May 1999 Bradford College:

I went in to college thinking there was no way in hell I'd live in a dorm. I didn't want to live with someone I didn't know, and I had a fear I would miss my good friend at the time-Kathleen- too much, and also living with my mom. I was anti-making friends before orientation. I just didn't see the point. This all changed after the first day of orientation. I met some people and it seemed like everyone who lived there was having such a blast. I felt like I was missing out. I told my mom this and she told me to see if they had anything left and they did. The cool thing about Bradford was they gave me housing for free, so it didn't matter financially if I lived on or off campus. I ended up rooming with a girl named Meg from Ohio. We got along fine as roommates, but just didn't hangout. I think that was probably for the best. I was on the girls soccer team. That was great, seeing as how I had never played in my life. Not many colleges can offer that. True we sucked, but we had some fun times too. Even though I liked living there, I went home faithfully every weekend. I was wicked into the scene at that time so I wanted to go to shows with Kathleen. I met some wonderful people at Bradford. Selen and Liz particularly, whom I'm still close with today. I can't imagine not knowing them. We had some crazzzzzzzzy times. It would take me forever to list them all, but I can remember everything to this day. I also did a show called "Cabaret" which was rad. During the time I was at Bradford, I hated it. It was so small and I really wanted to transfer. Looking back now, it really was a fun place and I had some of the best moments there. I would not change it for anything. And going there I proved to myself that I CAN do the work, which I should have been more confident about in the first place...

Year 2 Sept 1999-May 2000 Suffolk University:

To be honest, the only reason I applied to Suffolk is that it is in Boston. For some reason I wanted to go school in Boston. I must have been lead there for a reason because I love it now. I didn't realize that I wouldn't be able to live in the dorms though, which sucked. I wanted to have similar experiences as Bradford. Suffolk is so expensive and you have to seriously be well-off to live in the dorms. That was one reason why I missed Bradford. I went to visit every week and stay over on weekends. Later that year Bradford announced that it went bankrupt and it was closing for good. No wonder, I mean free dorms was prob a big contribution to that! But seriously, that was an emotional time for many of my friends there. I went to the final graduation with Selen. Looking back, during my first year at Suffolk I don't feel like I was in touch with myself. I was everrrrrrrywhere. I was involved in an intense relationship with my boyfriend at the time-Tyler. He lived in Ohio so that made it more intense than it should have been. I made alot of mistakes but they were all meant to be and learning experiences. This was the year I started my online diary. When I go back and read older entries I can see how different I was then. Strannnngeee. Of all my years in college, this year was my least favorite.

Year 3 Sept 2000-May 2001 Ohio State University and Suffolk University:

So this year I prob made what some would think to be a large mistake. At the time it seemed so, but in retrospect I wouldn't change a thing. I transferred to Ohio to be near Tyler and that's right, he broke up with me within 3 weeks after my arrival. At the time I was absolutely devastated. Being in a completely different state with hardly any friends and this happens, I never thought I would survive, but ofcourse I did. I'm stronger than I think. Well I should say THOUGHT. After we broke up I started to become close with my roommate Rachel. She rocked so hard and we had such a blast doing just about everything together. We hung around with the same group of people and I seriously miss them tons. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed. I knew in my heart though, that I had to come back to Boston. My second half of the semester brought me back to Suffolk. It was great to be back in such a familiar place. It made me appreciate the college more than I did before. I enjoyed my classes and did well in them. I started taking dance with the woman I still take with to this day. I got hooked on her class! I met the amazing and wonderful Dante. We went out and had probably some of the greatest and most cherished times of my life together. I was making more friends at school and getting more involved with the Theater. I did a show called "Youre a Good Man Charlie Brown" and it was one of the best plays I've ever done. GREAT TIMES let me tell ya. All in all, my third year in college was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions, but was precisely what I needed at the time.

Year 4 Sept 2001-May 2002 Suffolk University:

This year my classes were starting to get really hard. It didn't phase me too much. I wanted to succeed. The first half of the year I was still with Dante, but when he broke up with me in November, I got extremely depressed. I ate much less and lost weight. I wasn't healthy at all. My friends and family were worried, but I shrugged it off. Luckily I wisened up and am alot better today. For this school year I was finally living on my own. The first place I lived was in Cambridge from August-November. I moved out because my roommate went psycho. It was a real scary experience and I was super glad to get out of there. I ended up living with my mom for a few weeks and then found a place to move to in Somerville. It was okay, but I lived with 4 guys which got to be annoying after about 6 months. I became friends with Erin on New Year's which began the 3 E's Revolution. In March I flew to Mexico and met Fernando. We had such a blast together. I really love it there. I did the musical "Gypsy" at school. I am still not sure if it was a good or bad experience. I guess I could say somewhere in between. This year was a real transition for me, living in different places, meeting new people. I knew I was independent so it wasn't too much of a struggle. I realized once again that broken hearts can heal....and that love will never fade.

Year 5 Sept 2002-Dec 2002 Suffolk University:

Quite possibly my hardest semester academically. I did ALOT ALOT ALOT of work, and I really think it's going to pay off, which gives me a warm feeling inside and makes me smile :):):) Some people don't care about work, but I do. I never thought I would, but I guess as a student I have matured IMMENSELY. Doing schoolwork is just...amazing. I can't even describe it. It makes me feel good. GOSH IM A LOSER! hahah. But seriously I never thought I would say those words. When you aren't doing something anymore or when you lose something ofcourse you come to appreciate it much more. And I've been doing some thinking these past few days and that is what I have derived. I really am sad that it's ending. It should have ended last May, but because of all my transferring, I had to go for one extra semester. A little over a month ago I left the city and moved to Lowell. I was just getting sick of it and I really needed to live alone. I have a gorgeous studio apartment and being here makes me so happy. I have met some awesome people at Suffolk. Some each year. Some I still talk to. Some I don't. Each one holds a special memory. I wasn't sure if continuing at Suffolk for my Master's would be a good or bad thing...because it might have been good to experience a different environment. But when it all comes down to it, there is no other place I would want to pursue this.