Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2002 - 11:17 p.m.

you light me up and then i fall for you....

wow what a day. nothing exciting, but still..it is life. i shoulda gone to bed at 10. it is now 11:18 and ill be heading to dreamland shortly. we always get side-tracked. that's a given. im leaving at 730am instead of 630am i decided. i dont care if it takes longer, i enjoy listenin to ramiro and pebbles in the morning. sometimes when it takes too quick to get to school or i guess i should say alewife i just sit in my car and listen to the radio anyway. i dont want to be there! im missing fernando more than ever. i miss lying together in bed, listening and singing along to a flock of seagulls.....or watching beverly hills 90210 dubbed in spanish, trying to figure out what the heck is going on, while laughing at Ian Ziering, aka Steve. Fer's comments about Jason Priestly being the cutest HA! Dylan aint that great. i miss our walks around monterrey and the trips to 7-11, and HEB(grocery store). im missing "the italian restaurant" lots too. we call all our fave restaurants by their names except for the italian one. i dont know why heh. i miss the good ol' malls. the state house where we saw george w. bush and laughed. and trigo limpio aka vegetarian HEAVEN! sometimes the simplest things are so nice. you never realize how lucky you are until you lose it. although i have not lost his love or commitment, when i said goodbye yesterday, i had to accept that i would not know when i would see him again or even talk to him. so close, yet so far away. things will work out, they always do. just know if you are reading this and your love lives near you...whatever near may mean to you, or he/she is american and free to come to you..that you are lucky. because not everyone has it as good as you. but im strong. he's strong. we're strong. its only temporary. in other words.....XparasiempreX i didnt plan to write about this tonite. it just, happened. on a lighter note, tyler just imd me and i couldnt be happier. i still love him more than he will ever realize. :sigh:

goodnite sweet darlings, goodnite.

...my pretty baby.