Sunday, Mar. 10, 2002 - 10:37 p.m.

my hands are like ice...i cant stress that enough. im gonna make tons of typos but ill make it a point to correct them all. i had such a great weekend up until today. ill get to that later.

FRIDAY, was realllly fun. i did my espanol oral after class, then went to get allison a couple of nose rings cos she wants them before she goes away and didnt have a chance to get to harvard sq before that. so i picked those up for her and then came home, ate, and went to good ol' market basket. i swear, maneuvering a shopping cart in that store is harder than driving a car in downtown boston(although that is pretty easy but i cant think of a comparison right now). i came home unpacked all my awesome food and then walked right to the T. i met up with ericaster, sean, joe, and erin at jp lixxx although we didnt get any ice cream(yet). erica and sean got pizza and me, erin, and joe got thai. i inspired them. it was soooo good. then we went back to lixxx and got yummy ice cream. i was content and the nite had just begun. we rode the t and i tried really hard to not look like a tourist because im not! saw my pal tahnee. we chilled at the museum of science for awhile and saw laser greenday/offspring. it was realllly pretty. i liked the sparkly lights ofcourse. erin and i kept calling things in boston disney world stuff. like the bridge lit up is space mountain. the T is the monorail. the omni theater is space ship earth! haahah oh man we love WDW. after endless searching for affordable beverages we settled for the machine outside of lechemere. a drunk dude gave sean $1 for the t. HEY WHY NOT YA KNOW YA KNOW? we got separated cos of the celtics fans, so joe erica and erin just had to yell bye emily! bye emily!!! and then all the fans started yelling bye emily! to me and i was like im not leaving yet! and they were like oh let us know when you are..so when i left they all said goodbye to me. it was silly. i came home and collapsed into a deep sleep.

SATURDAY, was pretty damn cool as well.

i set my alarm for 10:45 cos i was planning on attempting to get tix for my mum to see paul mccartney. she had a class all day so me and my sis said we'd go online and try. well ticketmaster messed up and when my sis filled out our info it came up with an error page, so we were like DAMN we didnt get them :( we tried hard but it said there were no more seats together so i ended up buying two singles. to make a long story short i guess it DID go through even though my sis got an error page, so we ended up with 4 tickets and we only needed 2! luckily my mom wasnt mad(it wasnt our fault anyway) and she knows someone who wants to buy them. seriously ticketmaster is lame with their surcharges and all. moving on.....so i spent the rest of the afternoon studying hard for my gov and computer test....i got pretty @ 4 then went to the galleria to put our name in at the cheesecake factory. i shopped around but it sucked cos every store i went into i made the alarm go off so i felt dumb. i hate walking around malls alone, i feel subconcious. so we ate and i got a salad only it wasnt ur typical salad. it was huge and had cool stuff in it like oranges and peppers and lettuce and avocado and honey glazed walnuts andddd baby lettuce it definitely owned! i got vanilla bean cheesecake to go and its still in my refrige. i got home around 730 and i signed online to find mr markie cos we were gonna hang. i couldnt find him though so i was like hmmmmmm what am i supposed to do? i figured he went out sans moi(without me) so me and ericaster met at friendly's. she really needed to talk and ofcourse i will talk to her whenever she needs it. i gave her the biggest hug when i saw her cos i love her so much its indescribable. we chilled in friendlys for a lil over two hours til they almost closed. we talked and talked and talked, it was great. i hope i helped her out, erica im always here for you and i want you to be happy! when she hugged me goodbye it was a lil extra longer and she said you mean so much i got this fuzzy feeling in my stomach. i almost cried when i had to leave. am i lame? no, just, i dont know. i got home around 12 and ofcourse signed right online cos what else is there to do. i saw markie online and was like yo i thought we were chillin? i guess his comp got messed up. i was feeling rather adventurous so i asked him to chill right then and now. did he decline? no. so we met up and went to a playground in new hampshire. it was such a nice nite. i was in my pajamas, he was in shorts and argyle socks. not only are we cool, but we are stylin' as well. we went on the swings. i havent laughed so hard in a while. watching him go down the twisty slide on his feet i couldnt help but smile it was so funny!!!! it started to rain but we didnt care cos we're metal. it started to pour and get mad windy and we cared cos we're metal. we went into my car and talked and listened to good music(PTW x's 2 and random radio songs)and just talked laughed, had about as much fun as we could at 3am at a school next to a church. we looked for ghosts, couldnt find any, but i kept thinking someone was next to me at my window. damn windy tree branches. i headed home around 4. got to bed at 5something, yeah long day, but all in all great fun!!!!!

SUNDAY....got up at 930...had rehearsal all day from 11-5, felt completely awful during it. i swear, everyone thinks im either a loser, invisible or all of the above. i dont like them, at this point i dont want them to like me, but atleast respect me. it hurts so much, im used to bonding with people in shows, not being an outsider. i had tears in my eyes while i was studying during my break. but seriously screw them. they will never know me, who i really am, and they can all go fly a kite. hahah i couldnt think of anything else to say. im bad at comebacks. i called allison during my rehearsal and the first thing she said was, whats wrong? she could just tell in my voice i was troubled. the negativity that's present with all those people around is absolutely disgusting. im not going to be nice anymore. im not going to be anything. neutral - the only way to be with these people. im gonna bring headphones from now on. ill just listen to my music in my own world....yeah. so after rehearsal i walked to the north end and met up with my sis mom and my sis' friend. we had a very nice dinner and i got a canolli ofcourse so that brightened my day a bit. now im here and i cant believe im not in bed. will i ever learn? i doubt it.