Tuesday, Mar. 05, 2002 - 10:43 p.m.

its hard to explain what im feeling right now but ill try. i had one of those amazing experiences tonite. one of the times where its really hard to describe my true emotions. tonite, i went to a talk on eating disorders...specifically two parents talked about how they lost their daughter (she was 19) and she had only had it for 13 months. i learned so much. all the random facts keep coming into my head. it yearns me to want to learn more. i feel slightly better and even that makes me feel excited to know i can get better and better. im on my way. i got the chills tonite when i saw her pictures, heard her writings, listened to her parents speak. they were SO strong and i admire them more than one can imagine. Andrea was her name. I could feel her spirit in that room. honestly, it was an overwhelming sense of warmth and comfort. that feeling, combined with the radiance of the person sitting next to me(selen) gave me a sense of freedom and lightness..something i havent felt in quite sometime. i know its going to take awhile, but im sure i can conquer this obsession, this compulsion, this thinking disorder if you will.