this wasnt supposed to happen. i had to be in bed over an hour ago. i have such a busy day ahead of me. but instead im awake sad and hurt by a friend i shouldnt even use that word for. its such a complicated story. its so lame i want to scream. why cant i just sleep? she gets to now. she said herself youre gonna hate me and never talk to me again. if you know youre gonna choose to do something that will make your friend hate you and never talk to you again...wouldnt you maybe think twice about it? and now shes losing two friends over a stupid decision and one day. i hate it sooooo much when people choose the person they have a crush on over their friends. it is so shallow. i imd her, i was hurting, i needed to talk about it and all she had to say was im doing my hw and only talking to jimmy. how gay is that. and she hasnt talked to me since. way to run away from your problems erica. and i know youre reading this too-i could care less what you think. this is my diary and i can write what i want. jimmy was pissed when i sent him what you wrote. he was like screw this shit. he doesnt understand you. noone does. no offense but it is so mean, how can you ignore your friends when they are hurting. and then just got to bed and try to forget about it. everyone i tell this about they dont get it either. i like to think im a caring person. ill do anything for my friends, anything i can possibly do. ill stay up for hours talking if thats what they need. i think people have just become way below the norm. noone is nice anymore. everyone is self centered. its rare to see anyone do favours for anyone. makes me sick to even think about it. ok now ive gone from mad to sad to pissed off. this is totally lame. im not gonna change. im still gonna be a good friend or what i think is a good friend. im gonna be there for people when they need it. im learning through this, you cant trust that many people these days. its sad but true. i stood up for erica, i was like totally against her hanging out with this girl that wrote the meanest shit ive ever seen in my life about erica. and now theyre best friends or something. im happy theyre happy.not. i wont forget that either. this girl made erica cry. yeah so dante and i decided in order to be friends with her i guess you have to be mean or something. walk all over her. ok, so next time we see her dante should prob tell her that her outfit sux and she looks really bad. maybe then she'll go to his show. prob not. yeah whatever to this all. i dont care. i do but i dont. im gonna shut up for now cos the love of my life is calling me. atleast i have him, and all my other friends who i know care about me. that's all i need. ok that made me feel a little better. :sigh: goodnite?