2000-10-26 - 05:45:03

man alot of entries for me lately. i just cried about an hour about tyler. i miss EVERYTHING about him. im sorry but its true. i cant hold it in. ive been covering it up and i just let it out. i miss how he cared. he used to care about me sooooo much it was amazing! it sux why am i wasting my tears over him. i guess it's a combo of that and selen. i am so lost right now. i should be happy im seeing nsync tomorrow and all i can do is shed many tears. i dont know what im doing at all anymore. im empty,...........with no goals at all. i may not leave ohio, there's nothing that great in MA. But what is here for me? What is in MA for me? Tyler why must I cry over you? gosh, im sick...the nitetime always brings the truth. man this is so not me. im not supposed to be like this. i am the one who looks at people who are depressed and tries to help them figure everything out. i dont wanna be like this. i dont feel like the same person at all. im going home next weekend. yay hooray, then i come back. what is this path leading me to? Man this says it all. i'm actually laughin.

TowardLeft: ...well your ex will be angry when he hears you're going out with Ben Affleck!